


i know everything about you as people

by amazingsantiago



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingsantiago/pseuds/amazingsantiago
Summary: I loved 7x09, don’t get me wrong, but I think they REALLY missed a trick not having the pregnancy reveal in that episode. Especially with Dillman knowing everything about all of them. So I fixed it.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	i know everything about you as people

**Author's Note:**

> (not sure where ~exactly~ this scene would fit but it’s obviously after dillman’s arrival and sometime before jake gets suspended)
> 
> Edit: This is a work of fiction, based on a fictional show. This does not represent my views on real police officers. I am disgusted with the systematic racism towards black people in policing in my own country and in the US. Black Lives Matter.

This Dillman character is a being a real pain in Jake’s ass. 

After watching them suspiciously for a full fifteen minutes, he drags both Jake and his wife into The Box for interrogation, stopping Jake from finding the real culprit of this glittery crime and convincing Holt that _he_ should be the one picked to be in the task force. 

“I’m the victim here, you know,” Jake says first. The sooner he proves his innocence, the sooner he can out of here and back to crime solvin’. “It was _my_ desk that blew up, _my_ stuff that was destroyed. Why would I destroy my own stuff? Answer me that, _best-detective-Holt’s-ever-worked-with_.” 

“First of all, you do not seem very intelligent. I refuse to rule out the possibility that this was all just one of your silly pranks gone wrong.”

“Hurtful,” Jake sniffs.

“And wrong,” Amy pipes up, launching into a thorough defence. “Jake is very intelligent. Sure, maybe not in the most conventional way; he confuses the Vikings and the Romans and he has to use the calculator on his phone to do difficult sums and before me he’d only read fifteen books in his entire _life_ , but he’s in the top 2% of detectives in the NYPD, can quote every _Die Hard_ movie off by heart and he helped me answer _three_ clues in my Times crossword last night. So don’t you dare imply that my husband is stupid, Detective Dillman,” she leans in, lowering her tone to a threatening whisper, “because it just makes _you_ look like the stupid one.” 

She sits back straight in the metal chair and has this proud little smile on her face that makes him fall in love with her all over again. 

“Very well,” Dillman responds. “I will revert to my second hypothesis. “You two set up the explosion and orchestrated this entire Who Has Done This scenario in order to distract your co-workers from your big secret.”

Jake shifts uncomfortably on his chair. Said co-workers are right behind the mirrored glass and Jake knows their interest will be piqued by this new mystery. He tries to play it cool. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Me either,” Amy shrugs. “There is no secret.”

“Wrong. I know everything about you as people. I know you have ordered the same lunch at Two Daughter’s Diner for the last month, I know Santiago has a doctor’s appointment scheduled for tomorrow and I know that she has been holding files in front of her stomach in a failed attempt at concealing her growing baby bump.”

On the other side of the glass, Charles audibly gasps. 

He has to hand it do him, that’s a pretty dope reveal line. 

The light in the observation room switches on, unveiling three shocked faces and Charles. 

“I knew it!” He squeaks. “I knew it! I woke up the night you found out. I _sensed_ that it finally happened.” 

“And you didn’t say anything? What the hell, Boyle?” Rosa punches him in the arm. 

“Well, you know, they had trouble conceiving for so long and it was early and I didn’t want to jinx anything for them. It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

Jake wraps his arm around his wife as she starts crying (dumb pregnancy hormones) and mouths “thank you” at Boyle through the glass. He wishes he would’ve understood boundaries a _little_ earlier in their relationship (FaceTiming at 6am the morning after their wedding springs to mind), but he’s glad he managed to restrain himself over this. 

Amy was adamant that they wait until into her second trimester and the point where it was impossible to hide it anymore to tell people. Dozens of negative pregnancy tests had really done a number on her and she couldn’t handle the heartbreak if she lost the baby and everybody knew. 

He’s actually pretty proud of Charles. He was convinced there’d be a billboard in Times Square the moment he found out that Jake had finally put a baby in her. 

“Congrats guys!” Terry says excitedly. 

“I would also like to offer my congratulations,” Holt chimes in. “I am sure you will both be excellent parents.”

“ _Oh_ , thank you, sir,” Jake responds, his voice cracking with emotion. “That means a lot coming from you.” 

He clears his throat, refocusing his attention on Dillman. “There. Secret’s out. Now can we get out of here? My pregnant wife needs to pee every 27 minutes and it’s been 26 since she last went.”

He doesn’t even get to marvel at the joy of saying _pregnant wife_ outside the four walls of their apartment because she really _will_ need to pee soon. Pressing down on Amy’s bladder is their baby’s current favourite activity. 

“You may leave,” the older, balding detective concedes. 

He knows it’s not the end of the investigation into himself, but at least Amy is off the hook now and the secret is out. 

It’s been so stressful trying to hide it - even more stressful than when he couldn’t tell anyone Terry and Sharon were pregnant again - because it’s _his_ baby this time round. He wanted to shout from the top of the Empire State Building that he was having a baby with Amy Santiago, that he’d never been happier. Instead, they couldn’t even talk about it at work. Surrounded by great detectives (and Hitchcock and Scully), it would’ve been uncovered pretty quick if they started acting differently. So they carried on like they were still trying and pretending Amy’s weight gain, sweating and constant crying were just side effects of the fertility drugs. 

He definitely slipped up once or twice, mentioning the baby when he didn’t realise Scully was lurking by the vending machine and being even more overprotective of Amy than usual, but somehow none of them put two and two together. 

Maybe they’re not as good detectives as he thought. 

An idea suddenly sparks in his mind. 

“Peralta, you’re a genius,” he whispers in his Captain Holt voice. 

_Maybe Dillman is not a good detective either_.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, kudos and comments mean the world <3


End file.
